OWN IT until it finally goes away...

I got so much inspiration this weekend to write this, I hope it will inspire someone to think differently, to be "unapologetically who they are”.

Everyone carries some sort of burden or challenge that makes them cry or feel bad when they remember it. It could be a type of burden that seems almost permanent, it could be something that makes them ashamed or be tempted to feel less than they are. For me, it was my stutter from childhood. It was so bad, that I was scared to speak too much in public for fear of embarrassing myself: I could stutter for almost 5 minutes without completing what I planned to say, OTHER TIMES when I was asked a question, I just wouldn’t be able to speak. It made me feel ashamed of who I was THEN. Although, I never really got bullied or teased for it then, it really affected my self esteem.

High school passed and it seemed like the stutter had disappeared. It was a very good feeling. A very very good one! Until 2 years ago, it came back again in its worst form. By then, I was in college. When it finally re-introduced itself, a random guy laughing so hard at me was what made it finally sink in. It was the worst day of my life as I felt like sinking into the ground. I had never been laughed at for a physical impairment, it was something new. Even though I was in college, it felt like those high school movies where kids would be randomly bullied for being “nerdy” or “big”. There was a 2nd incident where I heard someone refer to me as “the girl that stutters". I thought hard and deep that day, and finally made the realization that I had to own it. There was nothing much I could do but slowly work on myself, it wouldn’t just disappear all at once.

It is something I am actively working on because I don’t even want to see it as a disability or impairment. Luckily, I don’t feel bad about it anymore. Now I just OWN it! I’ve stuttered in presentations, in front of strangers, on first dates without feeling the need to “look cool” or “apologize for something that is a part of me”. If anything, I gather so much strength from it. Yes, it makes me stronger now because I started to see it as being UNIQUE.

BOTTOM LINE here is: Don’t wallow in self pity! It is the most dangerous destroyer of self-esteem. Get up and actively work on any challenges you face. Don't let it break you. Most importantly, OWN it until it finally goes away.

xxxx

Vee